Memories of INTI

I shall just briefly recollect and add on as I write.

My last semester was when I realise and learnt a lot of things. Things which would had made my life in INTI easier and better if I had known it earlier but nevermind. Better late than never. Also, when it comes to my last semester, the memories I remember most would be the weekly outings with the regulars at Al Salaam where we would laugh and yell and talk like nobody's business. They were such wonderful memories and I looked forward to every Friday every week! Then, there's also the Wednesday..my longest day in INTI. I would have to spend six hours in class. With two very unique lecturers. I had to fight for attention in one while I strived to stay out of attention in the other one. I Love Tuesdays and Thursdays too because I get to hear my favourite lecturer while Mondays are well, cacat. I have only one class and IT'S a 8 o'clock class. Mataku...(btw I found out the meaning of this term already in Gokusen3! Never really noticed it before in J dramas but I did on this one!) My history trial too. The shoot of the best video of the year!!!!!! I just love it! Organising Winnie's birthday party made me all the more realise how terrible I am in planning an event. Luckily it all went well and Winnie was really surprised. But it was fun anyway. Maybe I can be a pro with more practice?

Last semester in INTI or more aptly put in SULIN'S terms, season five in INTI was a season of discovery. I got to know myself better and see my ugly side as it is. Accepting it is hard, having to change it is even harder!!! Being a timid plus super egoistic person, I can't really bring myself to initiate something although I would want to for fear of being laugh at, embarassing myself, misunderstood(this i hate the most). What's worse is returning everyday to an empty room in a semi empty floor. Now that I think of it, I can always run to someone's room actually. I'm not the type or have not learnt to get used to it yet though.

Do I appear cold and indifferent to you people?

I might have had but perhaps I did not know how to show it?

Then again, it is others who I never really thought would who gave me compliments on my friendliness. It set me thinking, I am maybe good in the first contact, the shallow basic hi hello stuff but go deeper and I do not know how to act. I just do not have the capacity to be a really good friend in need, what more be a best friend. Perhaps I am just too silly to have avoid conflicts all these years. Someone told me that we need to go through a lot of fights and arguments to emerge stronger from the friendship and to learn to appreciate it. Giving as I have very litle fights in history, it is no wonder I do not know how to be a proper friend. But I really hate arguing and fighting...and I don't mean the 'Jeannie-Azim' kind of chemistry.

That aside, I never realise how much I would miss my weekly Thursday meets with my Buddhist friends. Not that I missed it that much, but I felt really 'tak sanggup' when the chairperson and Kim Heng accompanied us back to A block. The look in their eyes were so touching and endearing. Also, the short farewell celebration we had in the van on our way back to INTI after the Dhamma Camp. I never realise it was my(and also Kelvin, Xin Yuan and Yi Juin's) last sem with them. But the juniors felt it and they made a sorta farewell card for us and gave us a farewell speech, which was so sweet of them. Kelvin's personal testimonial and certificate of appreciation touched me as well. For once I was that terharu. They gave me a new sense of hope and confidence that I have something of what it takes to fare in my Computer Science studies. It's kinda cute and soon became kinda predictable what they were gonna talk about me once a few started. It's always 'Su Lin asks the most questions'. I didn't know my simple questions affected so many people. For once, I actually felt like a superstar or something. Or some famous scientist or person who made a difference to people's life. LOL. I admit I am being slightly vain...but it's one of the rare chances when I actually feel vain.

Okay, here's the best one. I got A- for my US History2!!!!!!!!!!! I almost scream in delight. Actually, I was too shell shocked to even do anything. My hands started shaking and before I knew it, I was doing some kind of jig I think and made my poor brother listen to me while he was trying desperately hard to sleep and push me off the bed. I believed I screwed my finals so, it came as a very nice surprise although the other surprise was equally shocking. I got a C- too. College really does give me the ups and downs!

The other four semesters were umm..a blur? I remembered my first semester as the one with me being the most innocent where I still had this so called 'cursed' idealistic beliefs and live ignorantly in bliss. It was a swet semester though chatting my nights away(and making my chat buddy very guilty for keeping me awake when I had to leave at 5am!) and staying up late doing group studying(the night before tutorials and tests where the only serious one is actually Winnie) and with lotsa birthday celebrations! Equally horrible are my presentations. Maybe one particular presentation. Thank God I had supportive and understanding friends and...a really nice one who takes away all the credit. Hopefully this has some carthatic effect because I thought I had forgotten about it but when Zaim brought it up in the fourth sem, I realised I still have not! Still, it was also the semester I got deeply mad about Nakatsu!!!

I was given a huge awakening in semester two where I suffered for taking two programming subjects without any programming basic and then also suffering madly in Calculus 2 although I love the class and again, suffering physically and mentally in some stupid desert camp. My consolation was that I thought I got it under control. Some notable times was when I discovered an error in the sir's marking of my exam paper in which I got full marks. I told the sir about the error but he asked me to get away. Then , I realised that I was actually his pawn to show off because I did my answers on one page only. Then everyone assumed I'm so smart when actually I wasn't. Also the semester where I was seriously freaked out by some MSN 'pervert'. Not really a pervert, just that I am not the type who chats about elope fantasies in some hotel and the colour of my underwear...eeeeee. Another semester for many firsts anyway and also aha! I got closer to my roomate cz we were sorta through something similar and we shared alot of opinions. The semester where I first go for aikido and skipped it alot. Skipped lotsa dhamma practice till Michael scolded me everytime and would drag me to it.

Then comes May and oh, I got myself in big big trouble! I neglected my studies for that Pour Out mag, KM and Buddhist Exhibition Week. When I find my lecturer for consultation, he asks me back why didn't I find my other friends. I was like, ain't you the lecturer? I don't know how to behave with lecturers(I'm not good in forming friendships with lecturers or teachers) and I was a little worried too with how some lecturers are a bit too friendly with me. I mean, how am I suppose to react back? I really do not know how to form a good relationship with lecturers and I envy those who are doing it. To top it all off, I withdraw from a subject for the first time. I mean, if I continued it, I am surely bound to fail. Guess what? For the first time in my life, I can make no sense of what the lecturer is talking about. I even began to doubt if he is speaking English. It all sounded so gibberish!!! No one asks questions and when I finally braved myself to ask, the kind lecturer explained in another weird, UN-understandable language and I almost gave up. I practically had to work extra hard to stop the tears from forming. Which reminds me of Hanis. Once I cried in class and she bellowed so loudly 'Su Lin kenapa awak nangis' that the whole class could hear. Lastly, a semester where I enjoyed my debate team's camaraderie. We were all in sync and unity and we supported each other till...2 of us got Best Debater. OH! Another one! Last adla. My Malaysian Studies class where I got pissed off but laugh later at the antics of the trio. Really. Our only audience for our presentation was Siew Yoong.

The fourth sem was when I actually got to relax for real. But not for long. Still, I sorta half like half hate it. Whatudu, it has the ugly and pretty elements. I took 2 subjects only, World Religion and Moral. IN religion clsss, it was kinda boring but interesting during the movies session. Still, I hate it when I forced myself out of the bed(i was really exhausted) only to come to class to watch a movie. Luckily I didn't fell sick. I discovered the beautiful long black skirt too during Sheldon's debate session which I later borrowed to wear it for my trial. Last class with Dr Renuka. Moral was not bad. The jokes were laughable although some people just had to refuse to laugh. Some people also specifically requested me to change my seat so that he can sit next to his friend. This is also the semester where I fell asleep in class and was awaken when 1) in Religion, I could just sense the aura of someone making faces at me and 2) in moral, I was awaken by a snap by someone who offered me sweets. Also the semester where the foundation of the weekly friday conventions begin where Jia Min, Kelvin, Zaim and me talked from 7pm till 3am. Zaim had his Bio final on Mon sumore. LOL!!!!! Busy with university applications and studying for TOEFL and SAT. Could my good results in SAT be also due to the presence of 3 Taylor friends who are very good in English? =)

In short, INTI was like my high school where I experienced plenty of new things. I might not have written everything down but most of the gist is there.